Hiatus

Oh yes.
I don't really know what to do. I can't write. I mean, I don't know what to write.
Help me! I'm lacking inspiration.

Okay, so I admit. Nagsulat lang ako dahil nabaliw ako. Pero ngayong wala na, parang wala na rin akong reason para magsulat. Ewan. Ang gulo. Kaya hindi ko talaga matawag ang sarili kong 'writer'. Haay.

But still, I'll try my hardest to write. I swear.
This blog shall be updated some other time.
:D

Beauty and the Beast

*Here is my own version of Beauty and the Beast, a short story*

_______________________________________________________

Tale as old as time…
Indeed, what I’m going to tell you is a tale which has started ages ago. For now I live alone than ever, treated as a beast. I live a tragic fairy tale, eternally doomed.

Bittersweet and strange…
This is a tale involving me and a beautiful girl named, Belle. She is the love of my life, my only hope. That when she learned to love me despite my monstrous appearance, I’m going back to my original form—my human form.

I am a beast, Beast as they call me. The beast that eats little kids, the beast that feasts on human flesh, the beast that brings misfortune to the place where they live in—that’s what I am according to people’s prejudicing eyes.

At first, I was confused. I didn’t know what I really am. But gradually, I’ve accepted the fact that I am what they call I am. People would fall into hysteria just at the mere sight of me, screaming and running for their lives to save their filthy necks from the beast that is about to eat them.

Maybe, I am actually a beast.

I look in front of the mirror and stare at the reflection of that hideous animal face.

I stand naked before taking a bath, and there in the waters is the reflection of my body covered with beastly fur.

This is a curse I couldn’t do anything about. I am on my own, I opted it. The only key is for someone to love me back despite my being beast.

Ha-ha,

What an outrage.

This is so ridiculous. For nobody would love or even like or even take a glimpse of this beast.

Who would? Would you?

Of course not.

I know that this is impossible and now I live my life in isolation. Out of total resentment, the only thing that I could do is to stay away from the species which made me an outcast. My anger with these species is struggling to stay put. If paired with vengeance, I don’t think anybody would ever survive and mark whatever that will happen, if I could no longer sustain my control, as part of history. At least, I won’t let him. I won’t fail my fang and my beastly appetite and interest for the taste of human flesh.

Supplementary to my beastly features and almost eternal misery, my life is short.

Upstairs, I have a golden vase covered with glass. Inside this vase is a rose, but not an ordinary rose, for my life is dependent in this flower. The remaining thread of my existence clings on that rose. As the petals drop off from the stalk, my life, together with it, is fading. Before the last petal drops, I must learn to love and be loved in return for me to go back to my original form.

This is insane but real. I will never get back into being human again.

I have to die alone.

And now, let’s go back to my love story.

It started when a young lady came knocking on my door, seeking temporary refuge as the storm rages outside my castle. I ignored it. Without my consent, the guest entered my castle and lurked into every part of the house.

What an intruder.

I dare not face this unwelcome visitor because later on, I’m going for a grand dramatic entrance. He just better wait.

Again I was in front of my mirror staring at the monstrous face in front of me when the door suddenly opened. I stood with slight suspicious eyes.

What does this intruder wants? How dare it violate my privacy. Didn’t it know that this is the castle of a beast? Anyhow, I readied myself to scare this stupid person away, make sure that he would never come back and even bring a story to the villagers of how terrifying it is up in the beast’s castle.

Finally, the door opened. I took my position, keen to shoo this intruder.

The door opened and then came a beautiful young woman, I was paralyzed.

I didn’t know what to do. She stunned me completely. No praises I knew were enough to describe her godliness or any curses I knew that my tongue would dare utter to express my astonishment.

I was still in the middle of shock when this young woman walked confidently towards me without any mark of fear or terror mirrored in her eyes. In fact there was no expression at all. Her eyes were of the color of amber. Yet warm its color may be it was devoid of any emotion, just amber orbs window to her cold soul.

Again, I was paralyzed. I followed her with my eyes, as she walked towards me. I don’t know what happened but it was as if I was under some spell, her spell. What followed was when I felt an unknown sensation pricking my thickened skin, if there’s any. It was long since I felt any sharp sensation normally not anymore felt by my sense of touch due to my beastly fur. Then I realized that she touched my face and gently stroked it. Her gentle cold hands reached above my head still lightly stroking and caressing my furry skin.

In that instance, I felt like a stray dog being caressed out of love by my new found master. I closed my eyes to relish this sweet moment.

If I was a stray dog, she definitely was my master and with no objections do I agree. She caught me under her influence just like a master’s bidding to his pet. At that moment, I didn’t know where I was or what I was. What matters is what I feel today—an extraordinary utopia of my own. I never wanted it to come to an end, so it didn’t.

And time passed greatly.

She stayed with me since. Her name was Belle, such a lovely name, possessing lovely looks and lovely voice. She was always there for me, caressing me everytime I need one to make me feel secure. Within all the times she stayed with me, she never left me.

She cuddled me when it was cold; she patted me when I was sadder than the previous day; she sang to me when I was bored.

I shall mention again, and never get tired of stating again that she has a lovely voice.
She was a lady of few words, void of emotions but with lots of tunes. It was ironic how could someone as silent as her be wealthy of soft tunes able to melt my hardened heart.

Tale as old as time… Song as old as rhyme…

The only thing I couldn’t help but wonder was her eyes, her empty eyes. She did all these things—cuddling, patting, and singing— without any emotion at all.

As I fall down the pit of special affection for Belle, I was clueless of what her emotions are. I didn’t know if behind all her actions resides disgust. I didn’t know if behind her eyes devoid of feeling was pretending. Nevertheless, I loved her. I wasn’t sure if it was really love for I haven’t loved anyone or anything. The only thing I love is my life, nothing else.

As this new feeling, love, flooded me, there was no turning back now. I provided her everything which would make her happy. Shimmering stones, gems and jewels, dresses maidens like her would surely love, and everything. I tried giving her all those things and I did give her all these. But no matter how hard I try, and though she accepted these things with just a mere answer of, “Thank you,” I did not see any flicker of happiness, surprise, wonder or amazement in her eyes. This is so redundant, but again, her eyes were empty, stoic. I gave up comprehending her unfathomable eyes and proceeded on expressing my passion for her. It remained that way; nonetheless, I was contented.

Until one day when almost all the petals of my life’s rose have withered. My strength is gradually leaving me. My existence would soon come to an end, and I could not do anything about it. But someone could save me, the person whom I loved, Belle.

If she loved me back just the way I loved her, I would be saved. I would be human again. We would marry and live in this castle happily ever after.

But only fairy tales end happily ever after. As for me, I live in an unfortunate fairy tale destined to live miserably before and after.

To know if I was going to survive, I have to ask Belle. But the fear of knowing that she does not, she did not, or she will not love me no matter what scared me and almost convinced me to just let everything fall in its place and let myself die alone without knowing what her emotions were, if there was any.

I didn’t know what to do. Fear invaded my whole entity as my strength started to leave me. At the very same time proving that my own fairy tale was to end miserably before and after, Belle bid her farewell.

I was heartbroken.

She has to go back home for an unknown reason. She was going to leave me in my time of dying.
How cruel.

At that point did my consciousness only awakened. Before she totally left, I grabbed her arm as my other hand clutched my chest tightly, struggling for life.

“Don’t… don’t leave me dying.” I implored. “Have mercy to this beast.”

My hand clutched more tightly to my chest while at the same time I tried maintaining my balance. The only thing that gave me support was my other hand holding her arm refraining her from leaving. I stared hard at her cryptic eyes trying to decipher any emotion, pity, sadness, or anything. But I failed. There was only indifference, nothing more. She said nothing in return, just shook her head slowly. That single action was enough to drive me away from the land of mortals to the realm of death. Slowly, her arm slid down from my grip and she went away. I just watched her went away.

Soon, I am to die.

Still struggling for my life, I went upstairs to check out the wilting plant. With tormenting sensations, I managed to take a glimpse of the almost withered remaining single petal. When it finally drops to the ground, I…

Then, I went to my bed and lay there, waiting for the time.

This was how my life is going to end. An unhappy fairy tale.

As I was going to close my eyes, the door opened. It was not opened hastily rather, it was opened mildly.

Wait.

I knew that gesture. I have memorized that pace, that rhythm of movement. It belonged to the girl with beautiful face, with heavenly voice, with stoic eyes.

I opened my heavy eyes to see Belle’s face in front of mine. Her cold breath touched my furred skin. I smiled and urged my hand with its draining energy to give one fine and last stroke to her cheek, that before I die, I got one tiny essence of her for me to bring to the Underworld. And then I closed my eyes. It was enough that she went back to my side; I would not totally die alone.

Before death completely possessed me, I heard Belle’s soft heavenly voice, “I love you.”
In an instant, all weakness my body acquired vanished. It was replaced by a refreshing sensation providing me new life, new hope. I was turned into a real person again.

I was now again, fully human… fully alive. I brought my hand to my face and was surprised to feel its smoothness. My porcelain skin is back. My teeth were again normal, not anymore suited to devour human flesh.

I lifted my eyes to look at Belle’s beautiful face. There she is, still with lovely superficial features, still with stoic eyes.

I smiled at her. She just stared hard at me probably dumbfounded of my gorgeous features first time since my transformation, exposed. I was still gazing at her whole face until my eyes reached her lips. I wasn’t anymore sure for we were then kissing.

Slowly our lips touched until we engaged into something more intimate. My warm body met hers, both moving in passionate tempo. Her lips tasted sweet, her body tasted heaven. This is no ordinary pleasure I once again felt, once again arousing my senses into action.

This is it, the fulfillment of my hopes and dreams. Indeed, I live in a fairy tale ending happily ever after. Together, we shall live in this castle forever. We are now united.

After the sweet romance, our bodies clothed only with the velvet blanket, with her head reclined on my chest, did I suddenly felt different. My head ached terribly, trapping me in a deep vertigo. I clutched my head toughly still cautious of not waking Belle up. But the pain did not subside. I could no longer maintain my composure until I felt Belle stir from where she lay.

Belle stood up, got the velvet blanket and tied it around her body. Meanwhile, I was left still naked from waist and up on the bed while clutching my throbbing head. Then, I fell down from the bed caused by my constant shifting of positions looking for a way to ease the pain I felt. I looked at her, communicating through my eyes for help but she only looked at me with her empty amber orbs.

She walked towards me and then knelt. My head was lifted by her gentle cold hands, my eyes meeting her amber ones. For the first time, I was able to see an emotion comprehensible through her eyes. I could sense the strong emotion of ecstasy present in it. But it was ecstasy mixed with triumph, of mocking victory. She won, where? I did not know. Until she opened her mouth to speak,

“I won the little bet between me and that witch who punished you.” She smiled venomously, her beautiful face now shadowed with devilish features.

“W-what do you mean?” I asked, still tormented by my throbbing head.

“I said that I could make a beast fall for me. And it did.”

“What--?!”

“The beast—it fell for me. Didn’t you?” She laughed a tinkling laugh making whatever body hair left of me to stand. “I won our little bet, and the prize… do you know what’s the prize?”

“W-what is it?”

“You,” She said and kissed me again on the lips. This time, her lips tasted different. It tasted like sweet poison.

She continued kissing me hard but I did not respond. When her mouth finally separated from mine, I managed to ask, “But… you loved me. Or else, the curse won’t break.”

“Oh, the curse? It was part of the prize. Aren’t you happy?” She stood up and then walked away, still draped with the blanket. She ambled towards the door and before totally going out of the room, added, “But I don’t need you now. You may now die…” She laughed again evilly, her laughter echoing in the whole castle.

And so I’m left in my own citadel.

That ended my fairy tale. It ended without closure.

I thrive for life. I am imprisoned in my room up inside the beast’s castle. In human form I am characterized but in animal form I am being treated. I stopped fighting, it’s futile especially if it is against a person I still love and I can not defeat. It means fighting a losing battle where failure is evident right from the start. Love has its powerful conquest which restrain people to do anything, in my case, it really did.

Now, I drown in this lifeless pit. Regret ate my soul up for allowing my self to be entranced by this gullible beauty. Due to my own desperation of looking for someone who might redeem me from this curse, I am now trapped. But I’ve already accepted the fact. I live, because of my mistake, a pathetic life offered to me by my redeemer.

Every now and then my love, my redeemer, my Belle visits me and feeds me with her poisonous kisses. I do not complain for I was under her spell. Anyway, I am a beast. A beast locked up in its cage, a beast of emotional burden.

And still, I wait for the time of my death. I am no longer afraid of dying alone, for I was ever since alone. Nobody loved me. Nobody would love a beast.

When time comes that my love, my redeemer, my Belle’s kisses succeeded in poisoning me, I shall respond to it whole-heartedly. I shall finally be free.

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note: Inspired by Neil Gaiman's "Snow, Glass, Apples". Mine is Beauty and the Beast. This composition lacks originality. Err. When would I be able to find time to write my own composition? Something which I shall call, with conviction, mine. This work is so lame.

This thing needs lots of editting, tense consistency... I need an editor! ahem, Sheana, ahem.

Another Farewell

Farewell my dearest, you’ve bidden your goodbye
It’s all over now; our love’s spark has already died
We had it all before, nothing to stop us
But now it’s just part of the past
A surreal living memory embedded in the dust

I tried my hardest to fall down into deep oblivion
To escape and to erase where our history has lain on
Albeit I keep my eyes closed, still I could see your face
I could see your whole being in full splendid grace
Thoughts of you never left me but kept invading my head
Fragments of memories linger deeper than being dead

Blame it to your perfect features eternally embossed in my imagination
I could not just walk away suddenly with a broken determination—
I could not let time pass without your presence in my fantasies
It agonies me, for the longing I feel leaves me trapped in my own mind’s abyss

As I step up to walk away with feigned confidence, I shall bid my goodbye
I’ll force my self to love again just to forget you; I’ll try living in a lie

I’ve found someone whose features are perfect too, almost just like you
But no mater how hard I try to love another I just can not do
Because as I again close my eyes and see an intertwining spectrum of colors
The colors will merge into black: a symbol for my unchanging fervor
Your image then devours the scene, engulfing me to reach for you
No matter what I do, your image is stuck in my view

I cheated my own ego, how foolish of me to call this as my vengeance
Desperation convinced me to participate in a bittersweet connivance
With this I realized I haven’t move on
It’s unbearable that you’ve left me and I’m left all alone
I’m left to yield, to surrender, and to give it all up
I would like to give my bleeding heart its deserved rest for these are all enough
I’ve got to stop, I’ve got to move it all aside

And so farewell my dearest I’m the one now bidding my goodbye
Although it’s not all over yet, gradually I’m going away from where I lie
We had it all before, now it’s just something for me to reminisce
I want to thank you for those sweet memories
I shall go on and follow my path
No regrets or anything, it’s just that I loved you so much

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note: The theme of this poem is actually intended for my 'planned' fanfic. Since, I don't have the time and energy to write at the moment, I used it for this poem.

Addressed to You

1
My love, I do not ask you for anything in return
I wouldn’t want to expect again for another reason
You are majestic, unattainable by my reach
A goddess of excellence as what my instincts preach
My attraction of you is unknown why, yet secretly revealed
For loving you, my love, is hard now it’s to you no longer concealed
2
I dare not anymore plot another dream after another immaterialized scheme
My foolish futile plans are lame, devised by my diverted mechanism
Its pleasure brings me ecstasy, that I have showed my affection
At the same time realizing pain when I knew you give no consideration
You might feel glad and flattered, you smile and I drown in excessive rapture
--A brief temporary ‘heaven’ and then suffering comes after its departure
3
But, my love, despite the pleasure, intimate infatuation and slight pain
You inflicted me a wound and so I bleed, my veins gradually drain
4
Your superiority is my inferiority; your excellence my mediocrity
I have tried deciphering the codes why I do not yield
To the calls and impulses of pain saying I should stop the lead
5
But if I shall be acquiring confidence and guts to express
My obsession, emotions, and poems which to you I address
What would you feel for me? Would you feel the same thing?
Maybe somehow you shall feel a twinge of a touching feeling
But what I wouldn’t let and make you feel is sympathy
So I do not ask anything for it just might indicate your pity
6
Ironic it is though I am bleeding in this manner
I enjoy this pain like a sedative as what my instincts utter
I can’t let go of this obsession nor can’t I suddenly halt
A passion killing me softly in mixed delight and ache never to part
7
Insane I might be, unable to suppress this lunacy
You whom I blame, I couldn’t resist your beauty
Sadly, my love for you is a tragedy
Yet still I stalk you quite hopefully
8
Just please let me proceed to enjoy the false belief it is gonna be
Let me love you from afar where we’ll both be free

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If you are familiar with the poem, most probably, you've finished reading my fanfic. This is the 'uncut' version of the poem. hehe. If you're interested, here's a link to my fanfic Addresed to You fanfic

Mistress Time

Her life sprang since life began, embracing eternity
Whose lips never tasted ambrosia to kiss immortality
History was her acquaintance, Opportunity, her sole guidance
Ennui is her life’s threat, Wasting is a murder attempt


In graceful strides having similar pace, rhythm and beat,
Her strides meander to a mysterious path, a path leading to others’ bitter defeat
With head held high and lusterless eyes—an expression of melancholy and apathy
She continues to saunter her unending familiar route of man’s uncertainty

Dare not to cross her meandering path, her refuge for a chase
For Mistress Time never permits anyone disturbing her pace
When she comes, know when the right opportunity is
For when she’s done, her strides were gone,
It would mean a fleeting battle fought without security
And sorrowful regret for man’s history

Once Mistress Time has passed, her ageless pace is over
She won’t come back nor turn her head; she’ll continue her strides without waver
Clutch the hem of her dress and kiss the lace of her robes,
Plead for a second chance or beseech for another hope
But when thy supplication is through
Then my Mistress’s wrath is due
Her prideful honor and lusterless eyes shall veer into rage
Her unexhausted strides will suit more anguish
She’ll mock thy folly, taunt you for losing opportunity
Until though perish of life drenched in remorseful reality

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I got the theme of my blog from this poem. Yeah, I made this poem a long time ago and until now it remains unfinished. I could no longer think og other good lines, that's why. Have your own interpretation of these lines.

Ang Kabanata ni Maria Clara

Patawad, mahal ko
Sa pagkakasira ng aking katapatan
Mas gugustuhin kong yakapin ang kamatayan
Sa halip mapalayo sa iyo ng tuluyan
Sinabi mong ako ang inspirasyon sa iyong bawat paglalakbay
Ikaw naman ang sugong matagal ko nang hinihintay

Iligtas mo ako sa mapapanglaw na anino
Ng kura
Ng aking tunay na ama
At ng aking ina
Palayain mo ako,
Iligtas sa aking pagkakakulong

Mula sa pagkakaratay sa gitna ng karamdaman
Pinilit kong bumangon upang ika'y puntahan
Subalit sa aking tangkang pag-ahon
Sumambilat ang kamay ng pagdurusa
Na naglubog sa akin lalo sa balon
Yaong balon kung saan bumalong ang katotohanan
Ang katotohanang nauukol sa aking katauhan

Mula noon
Ay sabik akong naghihintay sa'yo
Irog ko
Na sa muli nating pagkikita
Makawawala ako sa dusa

At dumating ka nga
Ikaw na hinahangad masilayan ng aking mga mata
Ngunit bakit ipinahintulot ng Diyos Mahabagin
Na maunahan ang iyong isip ng iyong damdamin?
Ang masakit mong paghusga
Sa kung anumang nakita ng iyong mga mata
Nagdulot ng katahimikang sa atin ay maglalayo
Isang barikadang humadlang sa ating mga puso

Subalit bakit maging ang tadhana
Ay tumanggi sa ating pagsasama?
Tila ba nakikiayon sa takbo ng sistema
Nang dahil sa aking kahinaan,
Ang utak kong singrupok ng aking laman
Ay nakagawa ng pagkakamali
Isang kamaliang inakalang tama dahil sa pag-aatubili
Kaya't ganon na lang ang aking pagsisisi

Kung batid mo lang ang aking paghihirap
Na dapat ko nga namang malasap
Unti-unting nadudurog ang puso ko
Pinupunit ang natitira kong pagkatao
Tanging dalangin ko ang pagdating ng aking sugo
Upang iligtas ako sa kinalulugmukang mapanglaw na mga anino
Ng kahapon
Bukas
At ngayon

Hinintay kita, at ikaw nga'y bumalik
Ngunit ang hatid pala nito'y ang una't huli nating halik
Ang pagpapaalam, kapatawaran at mga paliwanag
Na sumandaling nagpalaya mula sa aking pagkahabag
Ang aking pagkahabag at muhi sa sarili
Na siya ring magdudulot nang paghihiwalay nating muli

Tinanggap ko itong mapait na kasapitan
Ngunit kalakip nito ang pag-asang habangbuhay iigting sa aking kaisipan
Kahit maangkin nila ang lahat ng materyal na yaman
At pati na rin ang aking lupang katawan
Hindi nila ako mailalayo sa tunay na nagpapaliyab sa aking damdaming hapo
Ikaw, mahal ko, na nakaukit sa aking puso
Pangalan mo ang tanging lalabas sa aking bawat buntung hininga
Ang iyong anyo ang tanging mabubuhay sa aking mga natitirang alaala
Walang iba, ikaw lang ang aking sinasamba
Ang nilalaman ng aking mga panalangin sa gabi't umaga
Kamatayan lamang ang makapaghihiwalay sa iyo mula sa akin
Mangyari man ang bagay na iyon, handa ko itong suungin

Sa pagdating ng bagong pakikipagsapalaran
Ang balitang lalong nagwasak sa aking katinuan
Dala nito'y kabiguan
At akin na ring kamatayan

Bakit mo ito nagawa sa akin?
Bakit mo ko binigong ika'y aking hintayin?
Bakit 'di mo nagawang ako'y iyong sunduin?
Iniwan mo ako habambuhay
Hinayaan sa pagkakaratay
Paralisado ang aking utak
Mga mata ko'y walang sawa sa pag-iyak
Hiling ko lang ang iyong pagbalik
Na ako'y iyong iligtas at punuin ng iyong mga halik
Kung kaya ngayon
Pinili ko ang isang bokasyon
Ang bokasyong maghihiwalay mula sa akin at sa mundo
Sa iyong pagkawala ay mas pipiliin kong maging solitaryo
Dahil paano ang aking daigdig
Kung wala na ang tanging lulupig
Mula sa kalungkutan
At kapighatian
Ngayong lumisan na ang tanging tagapagdala
Ng kung anumang natitirang magdudulot sa akin ng saya?

At sa likod nga ng apat na dingding
Sa loob ng kwartong madilim
Puno ng karimlan
Puno ng kasakiman
Pinagsamantalahan ang aking kahinaan
Nitong taong hangad lamang ang aking kagandahan
Ang walang habas na pang-aabuso
Lahat na yata ng pagdurusa'y aking natamo
Hindi ko na kaya ang lahat ng ito
Nais ko nang sumuko

At muli, patawad mahal ko
Nawala na ang lahat ng dapat ay inialay ko na sa iyo
Ang aking sarili, muwang at kadalisayan
Wala nang lahat ng natitira sa aking katauhan
Ngunit sana'y huwag mo kong kalilimutan
Ako si Maria Clara, ang nagmamahal sa iyo ng lubusan

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
I enjoyed reading Noli and I also love the novel. I am also fond of making poems as a tribute for a certain character in some particular stories that's why I wrote this. And this poem is all about Maria Clara addressed to Ibarra. Quite a long poem, and cheesy too.. haha.

Undefined

Yulia.
In your black untidy hair
Lies a naughty sin
One with a sinister appeal
of Crazy self indulgence
In a vivid dream
of Immorality.

Lena.
Blonde curly locks
Define thy gentleness
Gullibling our eyes
Your calmer role
of less liberation
Still claims imperfection

tATu.
Weird love lingers
Deep in your hearts
Unexplainable,
Inevitable
Together as one
Filled with hopes and lust

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Well, here's my first view of tatu. I really don't know for sure why I really loved the band.
Which reminds me of those who judge other people's likes. I mean, everybody got their own preferences and nobody got the right to declare what's cool or not.

Got my point?

Her Frailty

She who dwells at the depth of her fears
Imprisoned beneath her frail insecurities
Lacking guts, diminishing might
Afraid of the unexpected, hates a surprise

Beyond her veil of feigned confidence
To face with strength stoic circumstances
She lay inferior, broken and unwanted
Dying of shame, guilt and lament

Where vines of thorns continue to choke her
Are insecurities holding back her lowly power
Her cries for help, begging for a resort
Bleeding in time's cradle for mere support

An undeveloped weakling,
She strived for a perfect training
Eternal downfall and mistakes
Gradually took her hope and sake

Rejection and expectations constitute her destruction
Hopelessness and failure, her sole attraction
Memories woven by threads of inaccuracy
In a web of intertwining irrationality

Ghosts of her past humiliations
Vindicate her reserved limitations
Prosecuted by worries, she pretends to claim
Yet fearing doubts, misalignments and blame

Of all others as well stroked with sin,
She lie in wait to be redeemed
Not someone from heaven, not an angel
But one who lingers in downside hell

A bittersweet kiss from the superior
Might have emancipate her from eternal turmoil
Free her off from slaying thorns and choking vines
Carrying her away from a vicious surprise

As the sand flows down to time
Her life withers, caressed by crime
She continue on to mourning
Laying all odds, uncertainly hoping

A breath of encouragement, a taste of bliss
Maybe some doses of good remedies
One more, perhaps, a kiss from the superior
Might redeem her from her lame fervor

Still dwelling at the depth of her fears,
And refusing to shed demented tears
Still imprisoned inside her inferiorities,
Of all these, would her frailty still cease?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
i used this in my english portfolio, 'Negatives'. Guess who is this poem referring to..

Fallen Grace

I decided and dared towards you, I shall fly
And readied my self to flap my wings
But myself was afraid that blood is what I’ll cry
For fear of rejection is what it brings

Now, I have fallen beneath my wings
A sad hymn is what my mind continually sings
I hear you but I was already far away,
My downfall is my price to pay

My hand to you hopefully clings
When my grip lost its empowerment
Now, I have fallen beneath my wings
--I disappeared down into the darkness

Before, all I have to do is to turn my head
I could already see you there
Then, I felt the tears that I have shed
After seeing what you really were

My hand extended, I have reached out
Up there you just gave a bare glance
A thin, mocking smile formed in your mouth
I knew it then: I failed my plans

Maybe, it’s just really the end
Of my wretched self and wings which can’t be mend
There’s no chance of us uniting
Nothing happened even now that I’m fading

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i shared this poem when i was in 2nd year during our last english meeting.
it's for someone who seemed to be 'out of my reach'.